Lynne Osborn, Extension Educator
University of Nebraska Cooperative Extension
There are times when parents need immediate help when dealing with their children. This needs to be something to help settle a conflict without either the child or the parent feeling put down. There are a number of guidance principles that give us a way to discipline in times of stress and conflict.
The first important guidance principle we will explore is: Look at the whole picture.
A child's actions often relate to what is happening in the family. The actions of the parents affect the actions of the children. Mis-behavior may be a cry for help and/or attention. For example, changes at home may cause a child to be upset and confused and may require as much attention as a parent can give. There is often a feeling that too much attention will spoil a child. We make sure children have their needs met in other areas - a drink when they are thirsty, shoes that fit, nourishing meals. We need to do the same to ensure children get enough love and attention.
Look at your children's behavior as a whole. Do they seem to misbehave at certain times each day? Why do you think this is? Are they tired, hungry, bored, sick? Being too tired or getting sick brings out the worst in all of us. However if your child is often crabby and short on patience, have him or her checked by a doctor.
The following questions will help you look at the whole picture.
When do your children most often misbehave?
Why do you think this might be?
This week, if you see a pattern of misbehavior, think about the changes you can make to alter this pattern. Try some of the changes you thought about. Keep trying!
When you have answered these questions and looked at the whole picture of your child's misbehavior, call Dundy County Cooperative Extension at 423-2021 or 800-485-0219 or e-mail at losborn1@unl.edu and let us know what you discovered about your child this week.
Source: Parenting Your Child Effectively, NF02-527, by Marilyn Fox, extension educator, University of Nebraska Cooperative Extension.
