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TIPS
Clear Communication
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Deanna Peterson, Extension Educator
University of Nebraska Cooperative Extension
We are communicating all the time. Sometimes we are not aware that we are communicating in ways that are ineffective. Many times children will respond in unexpected ways to the words you say, have you ever wondered why? It is because the words they hear differ from the emotion that you are presenting. Because of this they will feel mixed up and their response then will also seem mixed up. Three ways to begin communicating with clarity is as follows:
- Be clear and know what you want to say before you say it.
- Be willing to listen and be an active listener. To be an active listener you need to put aside what you are doing, focus your eyes on your speaker, think about what the speaker is really saying, show interest with facial and body gestures, and ask interested questions.
- Be aware of your own inner parent messages. How many times growing up did you say that you would never say or do something your mom was famous for. Then you grow up, have children and catch your self saying or doing just that.
Another important point to remember when communicating to young children.
Is that they are very literal. When you say, "If you say mom one more time . . ." The child will think, "If I don't call you mom, then what would you like me to call you?" When what you are trying to say is that after 25 "moms" you feel you have met their every need and you need some quiet time.
For the following week, learn the three points mentioned above, list them on a sheet of paper. Then at the end of the day grade yourself as to how well you followed the three rules of clear communication.
Call the Dundy County University of Nebraska Cooperative Extension office at 423-2021 or long distance at 800-485-0219 or email losborn1@unl.edu and let us know how you are doing on communicating clearly.
Source: 3 Steps to Clear Communication with your kids, Caron Goode, Ed.D., Listening Skills, Wellness Reproductions Inc.
