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TIPS
Problem Solving
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Eileen Krumbach, Extension Educator
University of Nebraska Cooperative Extension
When your child faces a problem, you have an opportunity to build self-esteem and confidence and give the message to your child, "I can think for myself." To do this you need to work through the following steps with your child:
- Define the problem by describing it from both your and the child's viewpoint. Listen to your child's feelings and talk about your feelings. Then ask "Are you ready to think about things we might do to solve this problem?"
- Brainstorm or generate ideas by inviting your child to work on finding solutions. It is important to not pass judgment or criticism during the brainstorming time. Then ask, "Do you feel we have enough ideas to begin evaluating them?"
- The next step is to evaluate all the options. As parent and child look together to decide which ideas or parts of ideas will work best, you need to start those parts. As you do this be careful to avoid put-downs. "Do any of the solutions stand out as the best choice?"
- If you select the solution that meets everyone's needs you will have a greater chance that everyone will follow through with the decision. This should be mutual agreement not just a compromise. At this point ask: "Are you ready to plan who does what by when?"
- Make a specific plan - Write down the Who, What, and When by what Time.
- Agree to try the plan for a day or two and then evaluate to see if it is working. If parent and child are not satisfied, return to step one and try again.
This week, work through these steps with your child to solve a problem. Your child will have child size problems. They need to develop better problem-solving skills, and they need the opportunity to learn and practice small skills on small problems. Then when they encounter big problems, they will have learned the skills they need.
Call the Dundy County University of Nebraska Cooperative Extension office at 423-2021 or long distance at 800-584-219 or e-mail us at losborn1@unl.edu and let us know how your lesson on problem solving worked out.
Sources: Discipline for Life - Getting it Right with Children, by Madelyn Swift
