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TIPS
Focus On "Do"
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Lynne Osborn, Extension Educator
University of Nebraska Cooperative Extension
If someone says to you "Don't look at the spot on my shirt" you immediately look at that big old spot.. Children are no different. Another good principle to remember is Focus on "do" instead of "don't."
Tell your child what to do instead of what not to do. If you already have the "don't" habit, using "do" may be difficult and take lots of thought and practice. However, the change in how you and your child get along will make it worth the effort.
Always remember to talk to your children the same way you want others to speak to you. Be polite to your children by saying words such as please, thank you and excuse me.
Practice changing each the following from a "don't" to a "do." For example instead of saying "Don't run in the house!" you could say "Please walk in the house."
- Don't spill your milk.
- Don't talk with your mouth full.
- Don't tease your sister.
- Don't slam the door.
- Don't get your clothes dirty.
- Don't jump on the bed.
This week try to avoid "don't" and change every "don't" to a "do."
When you have changed the "don't" examples above and practiced using "do" with your child, remember to call the Dundy County University of Nebraska Cooperative Extension office at 423-2021 or 800-485-0219 or e-mail losborn1@unl.edu and tell us how it worked.
Sources: Parenting Your Child Effectively, NF02-535, by Marilyn Fox, extension educator, University of Nebraska Cooperative Extension.
The 10 Greatest Gifts I Give My Child by Steven Vannoy.
The Parents' Toolshop by Jody Pawel.
