Lynne Osborn, Extension Educator
University of Nebraska Cooperative Extension
Our mind allows us to focus on only one thing at a time. We might be reading and watching tv at the same time, but our mind is switching back and forth instead of focusing on both.
Children focus on what we tell them. Think about what your children focus on because of what you say. "You'll never be as good at math as your sister." "Look at this room. You're such a pig." "You're so mean to everyone." Which of your child's behaviors are you focusing on? What behaviors are the children exhibiting because of what is being said? In the above examples, a child would be discouraged and frustrated with math, live up to the expectations of being messy and be mean to others.
This week become aware of what you are saying to your children that might affect their behavior. Think about some of the values and qualities you can give your children by focusing on strengths. And instead of pointing out your children's weaknesses, focus on their strengths. "You should be so proud of this creative writing paper - it's terrific! I really like the way you described the sunset." "I bet you are the best bed maker in the whole world. Look at how you smoothed out the wrinkles!" "I noticed that you talked to the new boy in your class to help him feel welcome." What are some things you can say to your child to focus on his/her strengths? Say them. What can you do so your children focus on strengths? Do them.
Call the Dundy County University of Nebraska Cooperative Extension office at 423-2021 or 800-485-0219 or e-mail us at losborn1@unl.edu and let us know how things are going.
Sources: The 10 Greatest Gifts I Give My Child by Steven Vannoy
Parenting Your Child Effectively, NF02-533, by Marilyn Fox, extension educator, University of Nebraska Cooperative Extension.
