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TIPS
Focus Forward
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Lynne Osborn, Extension Educator
University of Nebraska Cooperative Extension
We go towards what we focus on. We can focus on what's not working and the negative or we can focus on the positive. Since you can only focus on one thing at a time and you go towards what you focus on, where do you want to spend your energy? As a parent, how do you get past focusing on the problems and what's wrong and focus on what is working and getting your children where you want them to be? If you want your children to do better, you don't point out what they did wrong, you focus on their strengths. As adults we all know we try harder for a boss who focuses on our accomplishments instead of our failures. Remember, we go toward what we focus on, so if we parents are constantly focusing on what is wrong, where are our children going to focus? Exactly. On what is wrong. Which child will do better in a basketball game, one who is focusing on not making a mistake or one who is focusing on the ball?
Every day this week, ask your child forward focus questions. It might be slow going at first, but keep at it. Some examples of forward focus questions are:
- What is the best thing that happened to you today?
- What did you do better today than you've ever done before?
- What was special about --- the party, the program, the concert, special speaker, etc.?
- Why is (friend, event, situation) special to you?
- What do you think we should do?
- How can we solve this problem?
- What do you think would happen if we did it this way?
Let us know how your focusing skills are coming along. Call us at 423-2021 or 800-485-0219 or e-mail us at losborn1@unl.edu.
Source: The 10 Greatest Gifts I Give My Child by Steven Vannoy.
