Lynne Osborn, Extension Educator
University of Nebraska Cooperative Extension
During the last few weeks we have talked about discipline. There are a few important ideas we need to consider before we move on.
Idea # 1. It is vital to understand that before you can effect a change in your child’s behavior, you have to change - the way you discipline your child, the behavior you model for your child, how you treat your child, how you talk to your child, the rules you make for your child, or maybe even the way you see your child. If you want to make some changes in your child consider the fact that what you have been doing apparently isn’t working, so change on your part becomes necessary.
Idea # 2. No one is perfect. Parents aren’t and children aren’t. Do the best you can and keep working at it. Keep your mind open to new ideas and possibilities.
Idea # 3. What works with one child probably won’t work with another child. Thank goodness we are all different. Within your family you probably will have to discipline each child in a different way. Forget about sameness and strive for equal. Don’t discipline one of your children for misbehavior and ignore that same misbehavior in another of your children. This is often a gender-related problem. This also means that you can’t discipline for every misbehavior in exactly the same way.
Idea # 4. Ignore comments and advice from parents, in-laws, grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends - especially the childless ones. Find references and experts and pick their brains and then do what you think is best for your child.
Idea # 5. You don’t have to do everything or even agree with everything that these articles suggest. They’re written by UNL extension educators who are very knowledgeable in the field of family relationships and parenting and who are parents themselves and have probably made every mistake there is to make but who also have some valuable insights to share with you.
This week look at your parenting practices. Are there some areas you would like to change? What are some new steps you can take to help your child develop self control, self responsibility, and self discipline? What is one thing you can change? Maybe it is just a small thing - like not yelling. Work on that. Then next week add another change. Or two. Then log on to unlforfamilies.unl.edu and let us know about your progress.
