Lynne Osborn, Extension Educator
University of Nebraska Cooperative Extension
All children grow and develop in sequence but they do it at their own rate and their own way. Many of these stages must come before others. For example almost all children will crawl before they will walk. Medical conditions and trauma will often interrupt the sequence of development. The developmental stages and the behaviors common to each are:
Infants:
Learning to trust.
Crying, fussiness, putting objects in the mouth, sleep problems.
Toddlers:
Learning to communicate, exercise body control, become independent, understand ownership, and understand cause and effect.
They are: Clingy, curious, slow, and grabby.
They experience separation anxiety, still have sleep problems, throw tantrums and objects, want to do "myself" and are quite whiny.
Preschoolers:
Learning new skills and refining old ones.
They brag and tell tall tales and ask zillions of questions.
They have conflicts with peers.
They are picky eaters and they test their limits.
Early Elementary:
Continuing to learn new skills while coping with new changes brought about by school.
They enjoy arguing because they enjoy using new information.
They test limits and rules.
Late Elementary (Preteens):
Continuing to refine the skills they have already learned. Become more individuals and peers become more important. They are often coasting along with few problems.
They are opinionated.
They are dealing with increased pressure at school.
They begin to notice the opposite sex.
Junior High:
Becoming separate from parents and may rebel and defy authority. Their peers are still important. Puberty usually begins. The sink-or swim first year of middle school or junior high begins.
They criticize their parents, are moody and often succumb to peer pressure.
Hormones are beginning to rage out of control.
Electronic communications are important to keep in contact with friends.
Teens:
Continuing to struggle with the same issues they had in junior high. Peers are more important than parents and independence is critical.
They ask for more freedom and dating decisions are difficult.
They have their own style of dress.
They are mobile.
This week look at the behaviors of your children. Are you expecting them to behave in a way that is too developmentally difficult? Do you expect your 2 year old to sit as quietly in church as her 10 year old brother? Do you expect your teen to like the same clothing styles as you? When there is misbehavior is it because you are expecting behavior that is too advanced for their developmental stage?
After you have considered your children's behavior and the relationship to developmental states, call the Dundy County University of Nebraska Cooperative Extension office at 42302021 or 800-485-0219 or e-mail us at losborn1@unl.edu and let us know what you think.
