Amy Peterson, Extension Educator
University of Nebraska Cooperative Extension
People come in all shapes and sizes. It is important for your child to understand that there is not a "perfect" size or shape that they need to be. There is no time more important to send that message that during the ever changing years of puberty.
Most young teens are insecure enough about their shapes without the constant perceived pressure from magazines, the media, and the mall. Many spend more time worrying about what they see in the mirror instead of what others see of them at school or home.
It is important that you, as a parent, make sure to remind them that they are more than a "body" and more than what that "body" is wearing. Remind them often about what they accomplish instead of their appearance. They are not a pair of jeans, a good hair day or a tight little tee shirt, rather they are caring, friendly, musical, athletic, or funny.
It is also important to look at how you view yourself. Are you critical about how you look? Do you make statements about your own appearance? Children listen to what you say and may apply it to themselves, regardless of their own body size, wrongly assuming that what you are critical about your own appearance is also an issue for themselves. Try to be aware of the messages you send about your own body and what you say about others.
Do you use food as a reward or as a form of punishment? Food is meant to nourish and nurture, and is not supposed to be used as way to show successes or failures. Children should also not be worried about their weight. Discourage children from weighing themselves and getting caught up in a numbers game. Try to discourage the use of food or scales as a way to win or lose.
Remember, kids and adults come in all shapes and sizes. Celebrate who your child is instead of who you might wish they were. We all have special successes to celebrate, and there is room for everyone, every BODY, every shape.
This week look at the messages you send your children about food and body image. Are these messages what you want your children to learn? If not, think about changes you can make. Then go to unlforfamilies.unl.edu, click on TIPS and let us know what messages you think you are sending and what changes, if any, you want to make.
