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TIPS For Families |
Written by: Nancy Frecks, Extension Educator So, you have decided
you want to become a more involved father, where do you begin? You probably
have many demands on your time including, commitments to your spouse, your
job, your friends, and yourself. You may wonder what you are going to stop
or drop to spend more quality time with your child. No one has said that being
an involved father is easy-its not. It's especially hard for new fathers who
suddenly find that they have to make a lot of room in their life for a baby's
absolute demand for attention. New and experienced fathers
alike can start with a small plan. Set aside a block of time for one type
of activity that you are going to do with your child. If your child is older,
pick something you have hardly ever done before. Maybe you will decide to
play with them for 15 minutes before dinner, or help them with their homework.
You might decide to be a regular part of bath time or make a snack for them
between meals. One great activity to consider is reading aloud to your child
every day. Commit yourself to this small activity. You may even find that
you enjoy it. This time alone with your child will grow and become more rewarding
for both of you. After you take this small step, it becomes easier to do other
things with your child. Don't wait to be asked,
volunteer and take responsibility; talk it over with the other parent and
agree on a plan. If you are a new father, view your caretaking role as a partnership
with your spouse or partner rather than as a "helper" or "assistant."
Research shows that a father's care of his infants includes soothing, bedtime
activities, diapering, and feeding and that most new fathers engage in at
least one of these activities on a given weekday (Manlove & Vernon-Feagans,
2002). Your sharing of parental responsibilities is beneficial, considering
that in most families both parents need to earn income to survive economically.
Most important, fathering your child, regardless of whether your child is
a girl or boy, contributes to her or his positive development. Realize that, as you
become more involved in your child's life, you may become less involved in
other areas of your life. You may not be able to work as many overtime shifts
or stay as late at work. You may have to say no to an outing or two with the
guys, take a season off from your bowling or soccer league. Know that in the
end, most fathers agree that the benefits that they receive through building
their relationship with their child far outweigh these sacrifices. Last, these
benefits influence the development of your child into a successful adult and
future parent. .If you wish to
leave feedback about this TIPS for Families, click on the TIPS
Feeback Form below. For more information on fathering go to
the University of Nebraska-Lincoln publication website at www.ianrpub.unl.edu
and click on Families. |
