TIPS For Families

APPRECIATION AND AFFECTION FOR EACH OTHER

Source:  Ruth Vonderohe, Extension Educator

Creating Strong Families (First of six parts)

If we were to use one word to describe families, we would choose the word emotion.  Families are all about emotion.  When you are focusing on strong families, you are talking about positive emotional bonds, and how we create these with each other. Express the strong, positive feelings you have for each other in your family, and the feelings will grow.

What makes a stable marriage?  Many researchers in the United States and around the world have focused on that question.  Investigators looked at how couples talk to each other.  They examined facial expressions, gestures, fidgeting behaviors, and so forth, as well as physiological clues including changes in heartbeat and breathing during disagreements.

People in strong families deeply care for one another, and they let each other know this on a regular basis.  They are not afraid to express their love.  Think about how you show appreciation and affection to your spouse and other family members.  Take the following assessment to see how you are doing.  You can then discuss your responses to the items, and talk about the strengths you demonstrate with each other and talk about where you would like to improve. 

Put an “S” for Strength beside the qualities you feel your family has achieved and a “G” beside those qualities that are an area of potential Growth.  If the particular characteristic does not apply to your family or is not a characteristic that is important to you, put a “NA” for Not Applicable.

In Our Family:

       We enjoy helping each other.

       We like to show affection to each other.

       We feel close to each other.

       We like to be kind to each other. 

       We like to hug each other.

       We enjoy being thoughtful toward each other.

       We wait for each other without complaining.

       We are good at keeping our promises to each other.

       We give each other enough time to complete necessary tasks.

       We grow stronger because we love each other.

       All things considered, we have appreciation and affection for each other.

      We appreciate each other and let each other know this.

Now that you know that your family’s strengths are related to appreciation and affection, you may want to come up with activities to do in the coming weeks and months to enhance this quality in your family. Write them down and include signatures of all family members.

Below is a suggested activity to see how well you know your family. Parents and adolescent children should be able to see the world through the eyes of each other.  Knowing and wanting to find out about someone shows that you truly care.  What’s more, it can be fun!!

Step-by-Step Instructions:

1. Grab a pencil and piece of paper!  Have your son/daughter try to answer the questions about you, their parent(s).

2. At the same time, the parent(s) should answer the sheet of questions about their son/daughter.

3. When all are finished, exchange and correct one another’s worksheets.  Discuss each other’s answers together.

How Well Do You Know Your Parents?

(Please adapt these questions to the person(s)
you are  answering the questions with.)

1. How did your parents meet?

2. What color are the eyes of your parents(s)?

3. For a vacation, would your parent(s) prefer a luxury resort, a rustic mountain cabin, or resting at home?

4. What presidential candidate did your parent(s) vote for in the last election?

5. Does your parent(s) believe in love at first sight?

6. For a pleasant evening, would your parent(s) rather watch TV with the family, sit alone and read, or go to dinner with friends?

7. Does your parent(s) gas up the car as soon as the tank is half empty or when the fuel is nearly gone?

If you wish to leave feedback about this TIPS for Families, click on the TIPS Feedback Form at the bottom of this page.  For more information on Strengthening Families go to the University of Nebraska-Lincoln publication website at www.ianrpub.unl.edu and click on Families.