TIPS For Families

Written by:  Ruth Vonderohe, Extension Educator, University of Nebraska Extension

Creating Strong Families (Second of Six Parts)

The Family Comes First

While Dr. DeFrain was doing research on strong families in Australia, he heard many stories about the incredible staying power that family members demonstrate toward each other.  Many people responded “We’re..just¼there for each other!”

Words don’t really describe this phenomenon very well, but the emotions attached to the words conveyed the message quite clearly.  Strong families are committed to each other above all else.

Take a few minutes to see how you think you’re doing on commitment as a family.  Fill out the assessment, discuss your responses and talk about the strengths you demonstrate with other family members. You may want to complete this survey now, then again in three months and again in six months.

Put an “S” for Strength beside the qualities you feel your family has achieved and “G” beside those qualities that are an area of potential Growth.  If the particular characteristic does not apply to your family or is not a characteristic that is important to you, put an “NA” for Not Applicable.  After recording your perceptions, spend some enjoyable time talking together about how your views are similar and how they are different.  Remember: No one is absolutely right and no one is absolutely wrong on this.

Everyone has a valid perception of what is happening and everyone’s views need to be considered carefully and respectfully.

In Our Family:

____Responsibilities are shared fairly.

____Everyone gets a say in making directions.

____We find it easy to trust each other.

____We have reasonable expectations for each other.

____We allow each other to be ourselves.

____We have a high regard for each other.

____We find it easy to be honest with each other.

____We build each other’s self-esteem.

____We respect the roles each of us plays in the family.

____All things considered, we value each other and are committed to our well-being as a family.

Now that you know your family’s strengths related to commitment to each other.  Think of examples that would work for your family. Make your family plan to enhance your Commitment to each other.

Family Time Capsule

Objective: To help recognize that each individual has qualities and interests that can be combined to strengthen the family as it grows and continues through the life cycle.

Supplies needed:  A durable container, paper, pencils and pens, small individual items representing the family and the individual members.

Step-by Step Instructions:

1. This project is to put together a time capsule that the family will open and share at a designated time in the future.  The family must work together to design the structure and identify desired contents of the capsule.

2. Each member may write a story, poem or goals for the future.  Each individual may also want to select a special item and picture to include.

3. Another idea: Make a list of questions that each family member answers regarding interests, hobbies, favorite things and goals for the future.

4. The family may or may not want to share exactly what they have included, letting that be a surprise for the future.

5. It is important that each member feel a commitment to completing the capsule and sharing about herself/himself.  Be sure to include all family members whether they live close or far away.

6. The family should decide how and where the capsule will be stored and when it will be opened.  Possible times might be a high school or college graduation, wedding, or wedding anniversary.

Discussion Questions:

1. Why is each family member’s contribution important?

2. Is family commitment necessary to completing the capsule in a timely manner?

3. How might this capsule provide a positive way for the family to commit time together in the future?

If you wish to leave feedback about this TIPS for Families, click on the TIPS Feedback Form at the bottom of this page.  For more information on Creating Strong Families go to the University of Nebraska-Lincoln publication website at www.ianrpub.unl.edu and click on Families.