TIPS For Families

Written by:  Ruth Vonderohe, Extension Educator, University of Nebraska Extension

Creating Strong Families (Fifth of Six Parts)

A family researcher having tea with an older gentleman from New South Wales, Australia, asked if he still felt connected with his wife who had died of cancer eight years before.  “Oh, yes,” replyed the gentleman.  “She’s right here in the room with us now.” 

This is often heard from people in strong families.  Many state that the loved one comforts and looks over themselves and other family members.

Ordinary words don’t do this bond justice, and in the model of family strengths, the phrase spiritual well-being is used to describe this sacred connection.  Years ago researchers talked about religion as a family strength, but thinking evolved and the term spiritual well-being seems to work better.

People tend to associate the term religion with institutions and doctrine.  For many people, these associations are quite positive.  For others, the term conjures up negative images going back to childhood.  Besides, the term religion isn’t really broad enough to describe what strong family members have been describing.                

Some families talk about faith in God, faith in life, and faith in loved ones.  They talk about being generally hopeful about life and believe that, in a broad sense, life works out pretty well for them.  Some describe a feeling of oneness with the world, a connection to nature, to the land.  Some people talk about how important it is to them that family members share important ethical values and beliefs, and express themselves in these terms by commitment to important social causes.

Spiritual well-being comes from the caring center within each individual that promotes sharing, love and compassion.  Spiritual well-being is the feeling or power that helps people transcend themselves, rising above the mundane and petty to identify with the greater good: “I feel my family is a part of all the families of the world.”

Membership in a religious institution or spiritual group can provide a caring, supportive community to help when illness strikes, a baby is born or an accident occurs.  Friends in the group are often quick to help each other.  But many strong families are not involved with such an institution.  In some countries, a relatively small percentage of families go to a church or synagogue or mosque or temple on a regular basis, but many families still nurture a sense of well-being in their lives.

Family members can record their perceptions here in the area of Spiritual Well-Being.  Put an “S” for Strength beside the qualities you feel your family has achieved and a “G” beside those qualities that are an area of potential Growth.   If the particular characteristic does not apply to your family or is not a characteristic that is important to you, put an “NA” for Not Applicable.

In Our Family....

_____ We have a hopeful attitude toward life.

_____ Our home feels like a sanctuary for all of us.

_____ We enjoy learning about our family history.

_____ There is a sense of peace among us.

_____ We feel connected with nature and the world around us.

_____ It is easy to share our spiritual values and beliefs with each other.

_____ We believe that love is a powerful force that keeps us together.

_____ Our personal religious beliefs are compatible with each other.

_____ All things considered, we have strong spiritual connections that enhance our well-being.

Helping Others

Objective:

To help your children learn compassion by choosing a family project to help others.

Step-by-Step Instructions:

1. Some communities have Sharing and Caring Days that identify a need in the community and a program to meet the need.  As a family, discuss organizations in the community that help others.
2. Choose an organization and call to see how your family can help.
3. Decide on an activity that your family can do and do it!
4. Talk about having a family project to help others every year.

Discussion Questions:

1. How would it feel to need help from the organization you are helping?
2. What can we do in our family to help others?
3. Why is it important to help other people?

Variation:  Assemble gift baskets with items families need.  Purchase or design a container for your gifts.  Decorate with a large bow and a handmade card that carries an appropriate message.  Take the gift basket to an organization that will deliver it.

If you wish to leave feedback about this TIPS for Families, log on to unlforfamilies.unl.edu and click on TIPS, 2006 and then feedback.  For more information on Creating Strong Families go to the University of Nebraska-Lincoln publication website at www.ianrpub.unl.edu and click on Families.

Source: Family Treasures, 2006