TIPS For Families

Written by:  Dr. Kathy Bosch, Ph.D., CFLE., Extension Specialist, Family Life Education
University of Nebraska Extension

Over the holidays or at family get-togethers, you may not have time or it may not be the appropriate place to resolve deep seated conflict or expect to achieve harmony.  However, there are some ways to manage or avoid conflict and have a better experience than otherwise expected. 

• realize what is most important to you, your values, and beliefs
• be aware that everyone is different and has different values, goals, and personalities
• know that you don’t have to have everything you want or everything your way
• remember that the holidays only last for a short time and you will soon be back into your routine
• talk kindly and respectfully when possible
• if necessary, be assertive but kind; state what you need or want
• be nonjudgmental
• be a part of the holiday get together with conversation and to help where you can
• avoid discussions that you know are controversial unless you are open-minded to others’ opinions
• for difficult situations, practice imagery.  Think ahead to what might happen and how you might best respond to the difficult situation.  Imagery is used to prevent conflict from escalating. (This is different than being pessimistic.)

If you wish to leave feedback about this TIPS for Families, click on the TIPS Feedback Form at the bottom of this page.  For more information on parenting go to the University of Nebraska-Lincoln publication website at www.ianrpub.unl.edu and click on Families.