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TIPS For Families |
Written by: Myrna DuBois As today’s world becomes more and more complex, we find that coping
with everyday life becomes a greater challenge. Failure to cope leads
to extensive damage to our health, our relationships, and to society
itself. It is not easy, and there are no magic formulas, however the
following concepts may help. Take a step back. Sometimes when we are very focused on a problem,
we become so immersed in it that we lose the ability to think it through objectively.
Taking a step back, re-examining the problem, looking at it from a different
perspective, can help to come up with new and better solutions. Try something different. This is based on the saying “If you keep
on doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep on getting what you’ve always
got.” Imagine trying to fix a piece of equipment, and what you’re doing does
not lead to repair of the equipment, but you keep on doing the same thing
over and over again. We do this in life, as well. But sometimes the solution
to the problem is to try a different approach. It’s amazing how well a new
approach can work. Let it go. Bad things happen to people, no doubt about it.
But we can rise above our circumstances and move on. It’s when we focus
on the bad thing that happened that that incident or experience can
take over our lives and color everything else we experience as well.
Dwelling on the past puts a heavy weight on our minds and hearts. Let
it go. Talk to someone. Talk is healing. We really can’t bury the things
that bother us. They will either come out as anger, as health problems, or
sometimes even as violence. Find someone you can trust, whether it be a friend,
relative, clergy, or counselor, and tell them what is on your mind. With
the telling comes a release of pent up frustration, and often even a new way
to solve the problem. Take responsibility. Don’t see yourself as a victim. Though
something that you are experiencing may have been caused by someone
else, it is only you yourself that can take care of things now. The
choices, decisions, plans, and focus you give your life are all up to
you. And that can be a positive and exciting realization. For more TIPS for Families, go to unlforfamilies.unl.edu.
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