TIPS For Families

Tis the Season to Be Jolly; Uh, Humbug!  If you are like most people, your reactions through the holiday season fall somewhere between Santa and Scrooge.  It is hard to make it through the coming days and weeks without some stress and frustration.  Here are some suggestions about how to cope with holiday stress.

You may need to reflect on why you are celebrating and what your priorities are.  When asked what they like best about the holidays, people give the following: celebrating a religious holiday; spending time with family and friends; cooking special foods and entertaining; buying and giving gifts; decorating surroundings; giving to charities and spreading goodwill; finding time to relax and get away.  All of these may be important to you and your family but you need to decide which are most important and focus your time and resources on those.  Getting rid or reducing the “shoulds” (what you think you should do) will help you determine your priorities.  Then put the majority of your time and resources towards these.

A big stressor for many people is gift exchanges.  For many there is genuine pleasure in gift giving but it can also mean a financial burden not to mention the commercialism that surrounds the holidays.  Start with a plan.  Let people know early what your plans are for giving gifts.  Have a budget and be realistic about what you can and cannot do.  Keep track of everything you spend including gift wrapping, shipping charges, cards etc.  Stay within your budget so you will not have holiday stress hangover.

Ranking high on the holiday stress list is spending time with family and friends.  The stress does not come from lack of desire to do this but the difficulty in getting together.  Families are more separated than in Christmas Past.  Maneuvering travel arrangements including the cost, finding vacation time, weather conditions, sharing visits with various family members - can make getting together on the special day a real stressor.  And then, there is always the chance of “Mr. Flu Bug” appearing to change plans!

Wishing things were like they used to be or like you want them to be will not reduce holiday stress.  One thing families can do is find new traditions and new ways to celebrate.  Talk to all family members to see what they would like to do.  Try new things but if they do not work out; don’t fret.  Just try something different next year.

Apply the three “A’s” for stress reduction.  Determine the source of stress; decide if it is within your control or beyond your control; then take action by “altering, avoiding or accepting” the source of stress. 

Remember, as much as things change they stay the same.  Keep what is best from the past and strive to enhance the future.  The past is history, the future is a mystery, today is a gift – that’s why we call it the “Present”.  Wishing you and your family a contented holiday season!

If you wish to leave feedback about this TIPS for Families, click on the TIPS Feedback Form at the bottom of this page. 

Carla Mahar, Extension Educator  cmahar1@unl.edu